Getting rid of regrets

       (c) Photo taken from Pinterest: “Break the Addiction to Sadness”

      Sometimes, people would cry out over something they lost — this is what I felt when I lost the sight of you. I realized that I lost time. I missed my time to be honest and accept the REAL ME, I keep exerting effort in becoming somebody and failed to grasp the reality behind my true self.

        I forgot to keep in mind that “nobody is going to be better at being you, than you are.” I neglected silence and chose to be in the middle of the world’s clamor. After several downfalls, frustrations and anxiety out of life I, beyond any doubt, finally appreciated the fun in my world’s journey.

        I remembered love. I knew that love is the answer in order to endure suffering. As the line in the poem Desiderata goes this way, “Especially do not feign affection neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.”

        I also learned to be gentle. I must not rush things. I should not take shortcuts to reach the future faster as it can be. Trust GOD — where I can only find sincere blessings through grace. I definitely know that He will not leave me nor forsake me and whatever my labors and aspirations may be, in the noisy confusion of life, I should remember that I have a friend in Jesus. I have the privilege to carry everything to Him in prayer.

        With all happiness and warmth, it is indeed a beautiful world.

The alluring shift of life through CHANGE

 The skys r endless and  we make the best of it... as we fell into the water, we said, "more is less and less will always be more" and we sank to the bottom of the ocean...:

(Photo from Pinterest)

      People often say that change is inevitable; Change is constant; Change is permanent; Change is everywhere. This is too cliché but then all of us, including I, really can’t seem to realize that this only permanent thing in the world is hard to embrace. I know you are not contented of what you are wearing right now, I know you are not pleased of what you have now and absolutely I know that contentment is not always on your side. This is kind of ironic though! Most of us tend to always execute change in our lives but this is also hard to accept. How can someone make these things transpire by himself when he is not yet ready for it? How someone let something happen when he is still can’t face it? Indeed, humans are like puzzles – missing pieces, needs logic and hard to picture out – puzzles that can’t be done in just a minute or an hour. It takes years or maybe decades to finally see the beauty and someone’s bigger picture of life.

        I was really shocked recently when “change” suddenly came into my life. I swear!  It is obviously not planned. I need to adjust and had no other choice than to go with the flow. I wish there were options. I wish it didn’t happen. I was sitting on the corner, thinking of a way to end this scenario of my life, I felt empty. I felt betrayed by time. There are no tears coming from my eyes, there is no voice coming out of my mouth. I wasn’t shouting or even whining. I just sat there and led my eyes to nowhere and suddenly ask myself, “Can I do this?”, “How can I overcome this fear?” – My fear of accepting change.

        I heard about a quote written by Timber Hawkeye that says “Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the prospect of remaining unhappy” and on that moment it really struck my heart, I really did let change devour me, my whole happiness, my positive thoughts and dreams. I forgot to remember the meaning of love. I forgot to fight back. I forgot to stand and be a warrior. I let myself drown on the deep waters of anxiety and pessimism but as leaves fall from trees; as light and heat of the sun became dark clouds and rain showers, I finally grasp the thought of bearing with pain and savoring happiness, joy and pleasures of life. Acquire change. Secure transformation and obtain growth.

Patawad po!

May sasabihin ako sa iyo na hindi mo nalalaman

O baka sadyang nagbubulagbulagan ka lang?

Makinig ka ng maigi at magmasid

Magmasid ka sa paligid

Magmasid ka! Dali tingnan mo!

Tingnan mo ang mga taong nagsasabi ng “sorry” dahil nasagi ka niya, “sorry” dahil nasagi ka niya o kaya “sorry” kasi bumahing siyang bigla , “sorry” nakalimutan ko o pwede ring sorry at hindi ko sinasadya, “sorry” sabay ngiting nakakatawa

O, ngayon nakita mo na kung paano mong binalewala ang salitang patawad,

I’m sorry, paumanhin, pasensya ka na

at kahit ano pa mang salitang ginagamit mo para makaligtas ka!

Para hindi ko na sabihing masama ka!

At para ikaw ang makatulog ng mahimbing sa gabi habang ako’y nakakulong sa mga salita mong “Patawad po!”

Meron lamang akong hiling

Isang hiling

Madali lang to!

 Sige nanaman, gawin mo naman para sakin,

Na ipaintindi sa kanila na ang pangako at patawad ay pareho lang pala

Tama ang narinig mo! Pareho lang sila.

Eh kasi naman akala ko’y magkaiba

Pareho lang palang nangangailangan ng pagdurusa, ng pag – iyak at pagsuko.

Pareho lang palang hindi nagagawa at hindi napapanindigan

Pareho lang palang hinahayaan at pinapalipas.

Parang dalawang taong nagmamahalan na tila walang pakialam kahit pareho nang nasasaktan

Hindi kasi nila kayang tapusin sa salitang “patawad po”

Na ang salitang patawad po ay tugma rin pala sa salitang TAKOT

Takot na maiwan, takot na mapabayaan, takot na mabalewala at takot na masaktan

Dahil simple, takot. Takot kang magpatawad.

IT’S FOR YOU GUYS TO FIND OUT!

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Jemima Cruz

It’s weird! I don’t know! There are tons of adjectives in this world but I can’t choose a single thing to describe myself. I usually list down my characteristics in a negative way because I don’t have the courage to claim the title of being “good”. Well, I guess the best way for you to know more about me is to visit my blog often 🙂 

Don’t be mistaken! I don’t doubt myself (I absolutely don’t). I just don’t have much confidence to tell you who I really am. I felt like I am being arrogant if I proclaim good things about myself.

IT’S FOR YOU GUYS TO FIND OUT!  

I am me because I am me — it is simple as that. I am open for judgement (Yes, it’s scary) but I am cool of whatever people say about me, no one’s perfect tho! I made this blog to express not to impress.


“A PRINCESS WHO DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A THRONE?”

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Since the beginning of time, I really want to be a princess. A beautiful princess who lives in a castle. A princess who can have whatever she wants and can go to different places whenever she wants to. A princess whose wardrobe is full of elegant clothes, dazzling shoes, and shiny gems and of course a PRINCESS who has her own night and shining armor — a mighty, smart, charming and a good-looking prince. But then, all of these is not the reality of life. A life is not as simple as a fairytale in which I am the protagonist and I have to solve this one conflict with a bundle of characters in the story. For me, this life is a roller coaster ride, full of loops —big or small, wide or narrow, all you have to do is face your weakness and ride on it!

As this saying goes, ‘We are princesses in our own ways’, even though I am throneless, I still believe that I am a princess, who owns an imaginary glittery crown above my head and this makes my chin up and walk through that door gracefully.


Feel free to reach me through email if you have questions or want to share your thoughts with me!

c_jemima@yahoo.com